The day i stop caring is the day i stop giving a rat's ass & just shut up

What if? Just what if, one day i stop giving any shit 'bout anything? What if one day i just quit caring altogether 'bout what i love doing most? i wonder what will happen? May be i should just be like everyone else, just shut up, stop caring and be in their comfort zone. But then again, i'm not everyone else. i refuse to shut up and be in my comfort zone... ahh crap, here's to more fights with my colleagues and driving them nuts. It means i do care 'bout what i do, damn it! (you know who you are)

a cat named after a font

a colleague of mine found a cat recently. we decided to name her avenir after a font, cuz that's my colleague's favorite font, avi for short :). i have to say she's one tough cookie. after having avi around the office for a couple of days (thank god we didnt get into trouble, turns out boss is a cat lover too, hehe), i realise she's a real example of "when life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade". i thought my life sucks, been complaining how tough life is, the crappy deadlines as well as crappy clients, came back from kancil night feeling more depressed...blablabla. but for avi, she's got two broken hind legs and still going. dragging herself here & there. try keeping her in a cardboard box & she'll escape before you know it. doctors wanted to put avi to sleep cuz they think she doesn't have much to live, but i think F it, she'll show you how to walk the walk. it's just a phase, it'll be over soon. hang in there avi, i will too.

what can u do in 7hrs?

it's been 7 hours since i skipped work, now home alone & feeling a lil' crazy i wonder... how long does it take for someone to discover my death. or alternatively i could have bought me a one way ticket and escape somewhere and never comeback. shop till i drop for 7 hours? nah, i'm kinda thrifty. dvd marathon? nah, too boring. gluttony marathon? nah, too fattening. sleep? nah, don't feel like it. 7 hours. in 7 hours, i could have planned a perfect death for myself & no one could find my body. how long before my cellphone rings after someone reads this blog? how long does one take to find out something's wrong with that person? another 7 hours? who knows...i'm suppose to do something productive like finishing my assignment. my deadline is due this sunday but instead i've been moping for 7 hours. if only i could take 1 year sabatical just like stefan sagmeister. hmm, perhaps 1 month will do? is this called depression? i'm talking gibberish again, ahh..morinaga, i need you so badly now!

when st. anger comes, melt him with 2 bars of morinaga

i realize i have the worst temper when stressed. i'm never a morning person too, and when my day is not healed with a proper dosage of my medication...err...coffee, i could end up a monster (no, not the hulk, picture a scene in queen of the damned where akasha woke up and starts burning everyone alive). why am i like this? i blame my dad's genes. but then again, i love this quote from a colleague, "Dumbass overload @ ******". i'm allergic to dumbassses? maybe huh!

today, st.anger came knocking at my door again, to avoid turning into akasha, i decided to skip work. i wouldn't worry, they don't need me. my thousand apologies to those i've snapped at. gomennassai.

p/s: instant cure to get rid of st.anger, melt him with 2 bars of morinaga milk chocolate.

A message to the one above II

Dear God,

I know you enjoy torturing me so that I can be a better person. But seriously Sir, I do hope you have better plans for me.

Love,

Your humble creation.

p/s: I'm super tired, staring blank at my computer screen, waiting to go home but i forgot to call for a cab, it's 5 minutes to 2 am... I'm talking gibberish & going nuts lalalalalalal...

Crap!

i went to visit the past and decided to stay there because i saw potential in it. But things did not turn out as i thought. Turns out, they were just how i left it. Crappy. It's been a tough week or...weeks staying in the past, somehow every time i think of giving up, a voice tells me, "damn it, don't be a baby & take it all in!". I'm not ready to give up just yet whenever i fall, not what i've been through for the past year. Somehow, something always seem to remind me that this crap itself that i left behind, if harness carefully can be of great value (think manure to help plants grow into beautiful flowers, but then again recycling art ain't easy too eh!?). i don't know how much more "crap" i can take, but i do pray that all my effort will not go to waste.

More days in a week please...

Wise words from a colleague, "How nice if weekends were 3days instead of 2?!" How true indeed! If only there were Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and err...Freeday?!

Oh well, back to work & drowning my face with caffeine (-_-')